Repost: The Starving Dragon

I love this one - it so describes how I see my addiction. I tossed a 12 yr quit because I thought I was over smoking and could have just one - but the truth is the addiction sleeps and once you wake it, it is all over but the crying. I can never have just one and while I cried bitter tears over that in the early days, I can honestly say that I do not want one now and when the thought enters my head, I dismiss it as I can never act on it.
Have a great day.
Cara
D6818...Repost: The Starving Dragon

I love this one - it so describes how I see my addiction. I tossed a 12 yr quit because I thought I was over smoking and could have just one - but the truth is the addiction sleeps and once you wake it, it is all over but the crying. I can never have just one and while I cried bitter tears over that in the early days, I can honestly say that I do not want one now and when the thought enters my head, I dismiss it as I can never act on it.
Have a great day.
Cara
D6818

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The Starving Dragon
written by MutinyFever on 4/23/2003 8:04:04 PM


~ 200 dayzLong, long ago, in a lifetime far, far away, I smoked just one. Bitter tears I shed when I realized the dragon Addiction still had a lair in my heart. I had thought him dead, after seven winters of starvation. Just one cigarette fortified him and he drew strength. With each puff he felt his claws, yawned his mouth, breathed his fire. The cinders that were his eyes began to smolder, and then he SEIZED ME.After relapsing on my seven year quit, it took me two years to get quit again. I tried and tried to find the strength to quit again.

A dozen tries in those two years. A dozen agonies ending in hours. I tried. I failed. Just one, I`d thought. I scoff at my hubris. So does the dragon.I was healthy before the relapse, getting a cold every 3 years or so. In the two years of the relapse I had at least a dozen colds, and I developed a persistent cough. Hiking became a problem. I became more sedentary in general. I lost weight and muscle tone. I gave up my yoga practice, which I had been faithful in performing for 5 years. I grew more depressed, and had less in the way of coping mechanisms to relieve that depression.The dragon loved it. Just one and my sense of self was crushed under
his dictatorship.

Death was to be my tribute to the dragon`s rulership. At last, though, I`ve reached deep within to find love. Love for myself, my wife, my family, my life. That love sustained me while the dragon roared. I have quit again.Today is the two hundredth day of my quit. The dragon is not dead, but he is starving and weak again. The dragon has retired to his lair to wait, to watch. Just one, he whispers with a long blackened tongue, his voice cracking and weak. Just one and I will have you again. Show more

Repost: Quit Tip #39


I love Carly - she writes excellent, inspiring posts.
KTQ
D6817

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Quit Tip #39
From CarlyKicksButts on 12/9/2011 8:01:44 AM

It is MUCH easier to KEEP this very quit that you are on RIGHT NOW, then to try to start all over and FIND a NEW one.

Protect it, my friends. You are living a gift right now, and as hard as it seems, it is easier than:

-trying to quit AGAIN
-chemo...Repost: Quit Tip #39


I love Carly - she writes excellent, inspiring posts.
KTQ
D6817

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Quit Tip #39
From CarlyKicksButts on 12/9/2011 8:01:44 AM

It is MUCH easier to KEEP this very quit that you are on RIGHT NOW, then to try to start all over and FIND a NEW one.

Protect it, my friends. You are living a gift right now, and as hard as it seems, it is easier than:

-trying to quit AGAIN
-chemo
-lung surgery
-walking around on oxygen
-telling your child you are going to die
-not being able to see one more sunrise or sunset
-never kissing your spouse again
-telling a parent you are going to die
-leaving your grandkids without your love

Just. Do. It. No matter WHAT it takes. When you break through to the other side (and yes, it's hard. Of course, it's hard!) BUT when you break through to THIS side? IT IS EASY FOREVER.

It NEVER gets hard again. You get OVER it. You are DONE.

YOU ARE FREE.


Stick with it. PLEASE. I promise you that even though you think you can't do it, YOU CAN, and even though it's hard, once you cross into this side of the quit, IT WAS WORTH IT.

Lots of love,
Carly
d768 Show more

Repost: If

I would have never believed that I could be where I am today and feel as I do with my quit. Had someone told me that I would never want to smoke again - frankly I would have told them they were lying to me. It is true - but only if you take smoking off the the table and not smoke again.
KTQ
Cara
D6816

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If
From berford on 1/17/2015 12:31:24 AM

If I told you that there comes a day when you quit...Repost: If

I would have never believed that I could be where I am today and feel as I do with my quit. Had someone told me that I would never want to smoke again - frankly I would have told them they were lying to me. It is true - but only if you take smoking off the the table and not smoke again.
KTQ
Cara
D6816

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If
From berford on 1/17/2015 12:31:24 AM

If I told you that there comes a day when you quit smoking that you won't even think of smoking would you believe me.

If I told you there comes a day that you realize you really don't enjoy smoking rather your addicted to smoking would you believe me.

If I told you there comes a day that your thankful your quit would you believe me.

If I told you there comes a day that you realize there are better things to buy with your money then cigarettes would you believe me.

If I told ya there comes a day when the first thing you think of when you wake up isn't cigarettes would you believe me.

Well there was a day in my life were I thought none of the above was possiable. In fact the first days of my quit I still thought none of these were possiable for me. But as I worked through everyday of my quit and my elders kept telling me these things were possiable over time I started to believe what they were saying. Today all the above are normal everyday acurances. I know there are days that none of this seems possiable as you struggle to make it though the day without a smoke but know deep in your heart that the struggle is worth it and that one day your quit will change your life in some big and fantastic ways.

Brian Show more

Repost: 10 Things to Learn

I must admit, I have learned most of these and the knowledge I have gained has helped me on the journey. I have to admit - I still have to work on #2 - good reason that I took up walking -somedays I could walk for miles lol.
Have a great day.
Cara
D6815

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10 things to learn: REPOST
From findingstrength on 1/19/2006 11:29:59 AM

Top 10 things I`ve Learned:

1) This WILL Pass.

No matter how...Repost: 10 Things to Learn

I must admit, I have learned most of these and the knowledge I have gained has helped me on the journey. I have to admit - I still have to work on #2 - good reason that I took up walking -somedays I could walk for miles lol.
Have a great day.
Cara
D6815

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10 things to learn: REPOST
From findingstrength on 1/19/2006 11:29:59 AM

Top 10 things I`ve Learned:

1) This WILL Pass.

No matter how bad I’m feeling at the moment, sick, sad, angry, craving, etc. it will pass. Perhaps not as quickly as I would like, but hey, I spent years feeding my addiction it takes time to heal.

2) When I’m cranky, I’ll keep my mouth shut.

Your spouse’s breathing is making you nuts. That damn cow-orker has hit your last nerve. Hey, that person looked at me wrong. Yep, I get cranky, but I keep my mouth shut. What I don’t do is unleash on those around me – it serves no useful function in 3D land. That’s not to say I don’t speak up if there’s a real issue, but my crankiness is my own problem.

3) Even tho my mom says I’m special, I’m not the exception to the rule.

Yep, my mom always told me I was special, but that doesn’t mean the rules of addiction don’t apply. No matter how long I’m quit for, I can’t smoke “just one.” I am an addict, if I was capable of being a ‘social smoker’ I wouldn’t have been smoking a pack a day. It’s not easy to admit being an addict, but it helps me understand things better.

4) There is nothing that a cigarette will fix. Nothing.

No matter what the stress factor is, a cancer-stick won’t fix it. Even the worst crave ever won’t be fixed – it will only be pushed back, ready to pop up again a soon as the nicotine leaves the body.

5) There are a LOT of people out there who do not understand what I’m going thru, I need to accept that.

The 3D ‘friends’ who still smoke who belittle my quit – mostly because they have been unable to quit themselves and if I fail it will validate their habits. Friends/family who have never smoked – they can’t fathom what I’m going thru (and why I’m not all better yet). This is why the Q is such a god-send. Lots of people who know EXACTLY what I’m going thru, ready to offer a helping hand. Thank you all!

6) I have to accept that other people will continue to smoke. Show more

Repost: A manicure, some girl talk, & 15 minutes with Lung Cancer

No matter how often I read this, it touches me and brings tears to my eyes. I pray that I never have to go through this and that I quit soon enough.
KTQ
Cara
D6814

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A manicure, some girl talk, & 15 minutes with Lung Cancer
From jcb061626 on 1/10/2005 11:59:11 AM

I wrote this in my journal last night. I asked my two Q...Repost: A manicure, some girl talk, & 15 minutes with Lung Cancer

No matter how often I read this, it touches me and brings tears to my eyes. I pray that I never have to go through this and that I quit soon enough.
KTQ
Cara
D6814

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A manicure, some girl talk, & 15 minutes with Lung Cancer
From jcb061626 on 1/10/2005 11:59:11 AM

I wrote this in my journal last night. I asked my two Q buddies to read it. They both suggested I post this here. I hope it is helpful in some way.

jcb


January 9, 2005
Day 60

Today is 60 days for me without smoking. I`ve been hanging around in `No Man`s Land` for quite a while, not knowing how to go forward, but knowing that it is impossible to go back to smoking and enjoying it.

Yesterday, God was so good to me. I still can`t believe it. There are some things that happen to me where I know not only that there is a God, but that he knows me and loves me. He knows exactly what I need, and when I least expect it, and surely don`t deserve it, BANG, God justs lays it out there perfectly, just for me.

Yesterday I went to have a manicure. I was sitting in the little chair with the little lady filing my nails and I looked up and a women walked in and said she had an appointment. The minute I saw her, I knew she had lung cancer. I wasn`t guessing, I knew it in my soul and my soul ached for her.

She could still move about on her own, but her skin color was a pale gray-green, and she had on a blonde wig. She was talking to her manicurist and said it was extremely important that she not nick her cuticles because she was taking chemo. There it was. I was right. She struck up a conversation with the woman beside her and I over heard that the second woman was a breat cancer survivor. Show more