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It's just TOO HARD to Quit ...
It's just TOO HARD to Quit....
From BillKist on 4/11/2011 4:57:33 PM
I read so much about how tough quitting is, about how you gave in to a crave because it was just too tough. Well....maybe....quitting can be unpleasant, no doubt. But tough?
Tough is going to the doc at age 50 with a 'pinched nerve' in your neck...diagnosed as metasticized small cell carcinoma....in all major organs including brain...99% of small cell carcinomas are caused by smoking.
Tough is looking into the eyes of the wife who planned to spend the rest of her life by your side, seeing the pain and bewilderment as she struggles to be brave for you while fighting the fear of living out the rest of her life alone.
Tough is feeling the desperation in her usually tender touch, as she grasps your hand, or your arm, or any part of you just to hold on for a little longer.
Tough is looking into the eyes of the teenagers who have loved and idolized you all their lives as they struggle to comprehend what they've been told and the uncertainty they face.....Dad won't be there at graduation....Dad won't be there when they marry....Dad won't be there....for anything.
Tough is knowing you did this to yourself and there's not one thing you can do at this point to change the outcome. No amount of sacrifice, no promises to change your life....nothing will alleviate the horror of realizing what you've done to the ones who love you the most.
Oh, you'd tried to quit a few times, but it was too 'tough'.....after all, you're only 50 and all those bad things happen to old people......and you're gonna quit before you reach that point.
My friend was diagnosed two weeks ago this coming Tuesday....Now he knows what tough really is. Would you like to tell him how tough your quit is? Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?
I had this in my library. This was not written about me. But it could have been. I, like many, have terminal cancer. Like the man written about I too will miss all these special events. I too look into my new wifes face and see her fear and despair. I quit 7 years ago. My cancer is colon...it went to my lungs. I have over 200 tumors. I have been told I have no chance to live.
If you're still smoking...I want you to know....The fear and effort of quitting cigs is NOTHING compared to looking your spouse in the face knowing YOU will not be there when they need you most.
Bill Kist